|
|
|
Surviving the Road to Feminism A Male Chauvinist’s Story of Change
I am a man. I have a son–no daughter. I have three brothers–no sisters. My dad has two brothers–no sisters. My mom has two brothers–you guessed it–no sisters. I even owned two dogs and two cats in my life, and, yes, they were all males. It is safe to say that sexism, chauvinism and any other male-ism you can identify were deeply rooted in my formative years and carried forward into adulthood. Yet, I live to tell my story of surviving a relationship during which my “partner” became a feminist. Oh yeah–and I learned a few things about myself along the way.
I will call her Lancia. She and I first met in 1987. We worked together for about four years before she left to take advantage of a better opportunity. During those years, we had plenty of conversations and experiences that revealed much about each other that we liked, making it easy to build a caring friendship–a typical outcome that is both a blessing and a curse of a two-gender professional workplace. After she left, we kept in touch every two weeks or so by phone for about five years. Eventually, we lost contact for three years. In March of 2000, I received an out-of-the-blue phone call from her. She was sorting out the effects of ending an unusual eight-year relationship during which she had placed her life on hold. In the meantime, I was frantically holding on to a bad marriage–not a bad spouse mind you; just a bad marriage. When I heard her voice on the other end of that phone, the lost years were erased instantly.
The year following that fateful phone call was difficult for me; but eventually, I separated and moved into a small apartment. It was not a very proud moment in my life but one that had to happen. Once physically separated, Lancia and I slowly pieced together a serious relationship. It has been about three years now. The first year wasn’t easy; at times our relationship was down right failing. Contrary to the first year, the last two have been growth years. They were also the years Lancia started her adventure to feminism. I’m proud to say I participated in that adventure: sometimes actively, sometimes passively. The truth is I really had no choice but to participate. So I did and I was a mess.
Self-Confidence and Attracting Women – The Real Method to Get Women Interested
Having self-confidence around women and establishing strategies to attract girls with a self-confident attitude is essential for dating. Attracting women is all about acquiring that self-assured mind-set. By projecting a confident and bold image an ordinary man can get gorgeous and attractive ladies interested in him. Read on to find out some of the great ways.
Who the heck am I and why should you listen to what I have to say about confidence
I’m Chase, a dating trainer living in Cali. I have studied many unique styles of, “pickup” from Mystery Method, direct, indirect, NLP as well as some hypno-techniques. I have spent a lot of time and energy gaining this knowledge. I have found one thing to be true in almost all of the different styles and trainings they all need confidence to really be successful. They may not always say so strait up but a typical and ordinary dude needs this confidence to approach women regardless of method. I generally believe in meaning and method over flashy maneuvers. Not to disparage, “tricks” they should be employed to put “polish” on a “game” but people need the basics first; and the most basic and necessary of all of the things a guy needs to know with women is confidence.
Riot Grrrl Style, Fashion and Self-Expression
Riot Grrrl fashion shaped and influenced young women’s fashion from the 1990s to the present day. Although there was no “uniform” in this movement, certain tendencies and trends moved from the subculture into the mainstream. This appropriation failed to bleach the politics from the clothing, and its influence continues, unabated, today.
To understand this movement, you have to understand something of its predecessors. The punk movement had some female and feminist voices, including the Mo-Dettes, Blondie, Lydia Lunch and the Runaways. However, the movement was always male-centric, with most women being either groupies (like the much reviled Nancy Spungen) or impresarios (like Anya Phillips).
Female musicians in punk tended to be lead singers, like Debbie Harry and Poly Styrene. This led to the perception that girls couldn’t play music, and should act mostly as sex symbols. By the 1990s, young women were fed up with this, and wanted to create music of their own.
